TBD

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I am not really in the mood to post now,but since I had promised Junhao,I will post.

you said that you wanted my answer,on who I like,why did'nt I return your love,why did I start dao-ing you after knowing of your religion etc.I will answer every of your doubt now.

you know hongwei right?
After my break with him,which i should'nt elaborate how in case there are some kpo ppl out there,I stop believing in relationship.For 1 whole yr,I live in agony,pain and regret.
I cried myself to sleep every single night,and it did'nt help to know that I am the one that destroyed our relationship.Not once,twice but thrice.(yes,we stead 3 times in total)It all came down to a single word:TRUST.If i trusted him enough,we would'nt be like this..

After hongwei,in order to forget my pain,I hook up with weijian,it does'nt prove to be a solution at all,i still think of hongwei even when I am out with that weijian.
It feel something like,I am forcing myself to love something i don't.In a way,I am degrading myself.

Of course,a relationship like this wont last,after we broke up.I took a break,exploring the possiblities on why does'nt it work out,why am I not able to love him etc.but NO GUILT,I must admit.

Around june this year,I got myself a new bf,Jincai,a boy from city harvest church.
That time,I am still riding on the possiblities that i will be able to forget hongwei because Jincai is such a great guy.But apparently,it fall through too.I start finding every single fault i can on him..I don't feel anything at all when i am with him.Also at that time,it happen that there someone else who like me as well..so..I broke off with Jincai for fear of hurting him further(fyi,I did'nt stead with the other guy too as i don't know him well at that time)But needless to say,the damage is already done,I heard that jincai nearly fall into depression..
well,at least,I feel truely remorseful this second time.

It was'nt until 3 month ago where the other guy that i mentioned in the above paragraph show me a picture of him with his friends.I look at one of his friend and it like something struck me"ESTHER,STOP LOOKING,XXXXXX IS THE GUY YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR"but,at that time I am still struggling,And there also this thought on whether i really like him for who he is or just simply because I find trace of hongwei in him.

I remember proudly telling Russell a few weeks ago that God have nothing asked me to forget anyone.haha,but a few days later after proclaiming,something miraclous happened.it simply mean 1 thing.I WILL BE ABLE TO AND MUST FORGET HONGWEI.
surprisingly,I am able to let go of him for the first time of my life..
and love that someone else that God asked me to:)

PRAISE GOD!
THANK YOU!!

and sorry junhao,i can't like you as my heart is already taken:(

I wrote at ;;10:21 PM

Thursday, December 25, 2008

You Spread a Lot of Holiday Cheer

During the holidays, you represent the true spirit of Christmas.
You give freely, and you enjoy this special time of the year.

There's a good chance that you spread cheer every time of the year... not just during the holidays.
You're kind, upbeat, and generous. Anyone who crosses your path is lucky.

Do You Spread Holiday Cheer?

MERRY CHRISTMAS,EVERYONE!!(:

I wrote at ;;11:28 PM

我今天做出了一个痛苦的决定，决定和他断绝来往。

他曾经是我的全部，曾经是我的一片天，如我是在草地上嫩

I wrote at ;;11:11 PM

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

today wasn't productive at all.

went out with luke to buy my christmas card,I found the one that i wanted to find,but it look old and crumbled,not worth the money definately.If i buy it,that person will think I am using some old cards saved from last year christmas.

Check out every cd store and the Popular's cd rama,trying my best to find the album that i have been anticipating,did'nt manage to find it,guess they have'nt stock up on it):

also,comic connection don't sell paypal cards now):

haiz,but at least I did manage to buy 14 christmas card of another brand(:
great!:D

I wrote at ;;10:29 PM

Sunday, December 14, 2008

My 47 Confessions
1. Who was the last person to call you honey?: junhao?
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?: LOL!of course,if not take them home meh?
3. Are You Single, or taken?: Single
4. Has someone ever sang a song to you?: Yup.
5. Do you play Sudoku?: nah,I hate math!
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?: depend on who there with me?=p
7. Who was the last person you shared a bed with?: my sister.
8. Who do you text the most?: err..for this few days it sld be andrew?
9. Who last said they loved you?: jun hao?and a irritating boy that I don't even know-.-
10. What color are your eyes?: black
11. Do you like your parents?: yup
12. Do you secretly like someone?: yup.
13. Why did your last relationship end?: because there a lack of trust,my fault):
14. Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone?: hongwei ba
15. Favorite ex?hongwei?
16. Where was the farthest place you traveled?: China
17. Do you like mustard?: haha,actually i not too sure what this is,haha,it's a big confession!(:
18. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?: eat?I don't really sleep.
19. Do you look like your mom or dad?: my dad.
20. Can you do splits?: No.
21. What movie do you want to see right now?: The day the earth stood still.
22. What did you do for New Year's Eve?: I will countdown!!
23. Where will you be celebrating your new year's day next year?: yup!
24. Was your mom a cheerleader?: no
25. What's the last letter of your middle name?: I
26. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?: around 4?
27. Do you like Care Bears?: No..haha.
28. What do you buy at the movies?: ticket?and maybe popcorn.
29. Do you know how to play poker?: No:x
30. Do you wear your seat belt?: NO!!LOL!it so uncomfortable!
31. What do you wear to sleep?: shirt and shorts.53. Anything big ever happen in your town?: haha,not really.
32. Is your hair good?: No.
33. Is your tongue pierced?: No .
34. Do you like Liver and Onions?: No.
35. Do you like funny or serious people better?: depend.
36. Ever been to L.A.?: No.
37. Who is on your mind right now?: haha..err..him?
38. Any plans for tonight?: Yup.
39. What's your favorite song at the moment?: 有人关心你
40. Do you hate chocolate?: No.
41. What do you and your parents fight about the most?: wasting money.
42. Are you a gullible person?: Yup:(
43. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?: think so?
44. If you could have any job what would it be?: dunno?.
45. Are you easy to get along with?: hmm..ya.
46. What is your favorite time of day?: the morning!.
47. Are you a generally happy person?: No.

I wrote at ;;11:39 PM

Saturday, December 13, 2008

If i know I be so worried,i would'nt have talk to Ace at all..
I did'nt know it will be so spot-on,considering how big that place is..
I hope you are ok,remember to wear more clothes kay?
do not catch a cold k?I love you.

on a lighter note,luke the christmas turkey(opps! i certainly hope he does'nt see this) is now teaching me how to give someone a unexpected surprise..haha,I might consider trying it,if i don't get cold and jelly feet on that day.haha=)

will be going out to buy christmas card on tuesday,oh my gosh,i hope it isn't sold out yet.cause i really like the design,and i am getting it for someone special.This thursday when i went there,there only 2 card left..please not let the card be sold pls,if not i will make a wasted trip to angmokio just to buy that card..

I wrote at ;;10:13 PM

Friday, December 12, 2008

RULE #1 - People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 - Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continuing this game by sending it to other people.

1. Do you have secrets?just one.haha

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl younger than you?don't think so.

3. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love?it really depends..

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?go travelling.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?No,too close to love

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?being loved.

7. How do you define love?Love is unconditional and is about giving,not taking.haha,i can go on for a page long about this,but i think i stop here:X

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?wait for him?

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?YES!

10. What makes you sad?math homeworks and a lot of other stuff..

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?as a teacher?

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?my family and ahem.

13. What is being regarded as the most important thing in your life?my diary,terrapins,hp,wallet.LOL

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?married but poor.

15. What is your favourite colour?blue

16. Do you fall in love easily?Used to.

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?Yes.

18. What do you want to tell the someone you like?I just hope to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him.

19. If there is a choice between lover and friends,which will you choose?lover

20. Do you believe that there's "True Love"?yup,definately

5 ppl who's going to do this survey.Anyone!

I wrote at ;;10:09 PM