And it just me,myself and I.

2009-03-03T18:28:00.002+08:00

my mc date is ending tomorrow,but i am still very sick):
my cough have been going from bad to worst and my throat is getting very sore.Yes,very.
Kind of make me wonder what the medicine I ate does,probably just to make me drowsy.Probably because i am immune to them already.Still,can't complain,my sister were the one who spread the cough bug to me.

drat,i certainly hope that I will be void to take the science common test tomorrow.To be honest,I don't even have the time to study or revise,
I chatted on the phone ytd with someone,but that was because I wanted to kill my massive boredom for coping at home for 2 days.

well,that all.
I hope i'll get well tomorrow before he go to camp O:
bye!

2009-03-01T23:08:00.011+08:00

okay,there will not be any chinese or science common test tomorrow for Esther.

NO SCHOOL FOR ME!!

I am down with fever and cough,now feeling very drowsy and sick.

drat,my voice is coarse now>.<

saw a crane on a patch of grass on my way home from church,how I wish I can bring it home:x

see this picture?

asked hongwei to send it to me de,still can't believe I did that.whatever was I thinking when i told him to do that?

oh ya,very cute hor?:D

2009-02-28T23:55:00.002+08:00

I've received a hand drawn piglet in my mailbox today along with my parcel that I order online.
kind of surprised I must say,no name,no words,just that piglet face.
Maybe ppl slotted it into the wrong mailbox ba:/
have to be it:)

told Wilson Wee a few days ago that I want to go to SP open house 2010.
seem too early to be thinking about this now,but have a gut feeling that my needs will be greatly fulfilled there.
don't understand me?haha,it's ok.

2009-02-26T22:25:00.002+08:00

I pass my geography!!
kind of come as a shock to me,because I did'nt study for it.
I gave up on it during geog lesson,and only read through the notes halfway after sch(20 min)
exactly half of my classmate failed.
thanks God for the pass.

chem test is on tomorrow,and it tested heavily on mole concept,
drat,I have to pray till i understand-.-
it's so hard>.<

2009-02-24T22:41:00.003+08:00

my chinese e-dictionary died on me ytd,when I am suppose to have a COMMON compo test today.great.
went to school despite having fever,because I don't want to miss out any of my 2 common test today..
don't wish to stay back after school the next day for retest you see>.< class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">rapidly,O:
my source A answer was totally different from the few ppl i asked..
It AL QAEDA,NOT JI..I'm sure of it..
and are we suppose to show what the mousetrap,cheese represent?
I did'nt do that..
and I don't even understand the last question..drat,and that like half of the mark gone alr..
damn,I hope there a retest.I can't fail my one and only SS common test like that..

2009-02-20T23:33:00.002+08:00

extract from a msn convo:

wilson wee tian wei. says (11:19 PM):
michelle like hong wei
wilson wee tian wei. says (11:19 PM):
i will jump straight!

wah..chill man!:x

2009-02-20T22:53:00.002+08:00

Your Love is Based on Commitment

You believe that love is something that develops and grows.
You don't believe in love at first site, and you never mistake lust for love.
For you, love is about mutual devotion, respect, and understanding.
You don't feel comfortable in a relationship, unless you're both in it for the long run.

Why your love can last: You don't take commitment lightly - or leave relationships easily

Why your love can fail: You're so committed, you often can't see the most obvious problems in your relationship

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatisyourlovebasedonquiz/">What Is Your Love Based On?

wow,how true!

2009-02-18T23:44:00.003+08:00

I like Yuelin
(if only he know,and like me too..)

bug off everyone,
I need to be alone.

2009-02-16T21:48:00.003+08:00

I finally got a chance to repay wilson wee today:)
good luck yeahs?with your relationship with michelle.
I hope she will appreciate your efforts,and grow to love you more.
It will be a perfect ending..if we manage to 凑合 both the fairfield-romance again,if you get what I mean:]

2009-02-16T21:09:00.007+08:00

I had been struggling with myself today.
I still don't know whether I should take up an additional O level sub,
I don't know whether it too late to start..
I struggled with whether i should drop my F&n just to take this up.

Everything is in a daze,everything is blurred.
It feel as seem as my whole mind is going to dominate over me,
going to devout me..

I asked around for advice,I searched the library records,
I close my eyes and pray earnestly and in desperation for an answer in between interval.
I don't even care when I got a nasty comment from Miss poh about my chinese compo(well,I wrote that compo when I was crying,as mentioned in my previous entry)

well,what I do know is that I NEED to come up with the decision tomorrow,
going to talk to Mrs Ang tomorrow,hopefully something will come out of it..
:(

2009-02-15T17:38:00.001+08:00

NEW BLOG,NEW BLOG!!
visit http://loving-ruralkunming.blogspot.com/
will be doing updates on both blog through:)

2009-02-15T16:30:00.002+08:00

I feel so much better now that I talked to someone about it..
does take a heavy load off my mind.
well,i think I will go ahead with my decision and hope i don't end up with plays.
"Such an apparition, appearst in front of me!'

"I have almost forgot the taste of fears;
The time has been, my senses would have cool'd
To hear a night-shriek; and my fell of hair
Would at a dismal treatise rouse and stir
As life were in't: I have supp'd full with horrors;
Direness, familiar to my slaughterous thoughts
Cannot once start me. "

"Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart, and bids it break. "

"Fair is foul, and foul is fair.Hover through the fog and filthy air."

sound cool to me((:

2009-02-11T20:46:00.003+08:00

I was late for school today..
left house at 7:30,because I can't find that freaking school tie..
as i was walking to school,everyone was giving me that "shouldn't she be in school right now"look,
purposely walked the long way to school to avoid being seen,was the second last to step into the school,have to sit in a new row at the latecomer's corner,and aww,he is not late.
made to sing the national anthem,recite the pledge and pick up rubbish-.-

today also marked the first lesson of Mr raj SS lesson,really dislike his style a lot..
was suppose to teach us about globalisation,but instead,tell us to name 5 car,food,Multi-national companies,home appliances from diff countries.
group work somemore!must work with those nasty ppl infront of me-,-
I never contribute thought,they took so long to think of the answer for MNCs,Shangri-la international hotels la!still got Nike,subway,etc etc lo.

okay,I shall stop here.
there chem and F&n test tomorrow,and I have'nt even started studying.
and i have not even done my homework too.
need to go buried my head in them soon..
till then..

2009-02-10T22:07:00.006+08:00

compared to yesterday,I am feeling better now.
still having that terrible feeling inside me,but alas,I have to blame myself for liking him..

Chinese lesson today is fun:)
Miss poh read to us some of the "very funny","not-so-good" and "excellent" compo written by some of us on the topic“令我最难以忘怀的事”
a lot of them wrote about their first love,which I have never attempted in my whole life partly because I am bad with words,and personally I think..爱只能体会，却难以描绘的：)

but as she move on,my heart sank,"如果你没有去过一个地方旅行，千万不要乱写” and I go,omg,该不会是我的吧？

but it turn out to be someone(note the irony!) who wrote that 他早上到了中国的万里长城，下午到浙江吃午饭，晚上就坐火车到上海去，那一天的行程令他难以忘怀..
it like,wow!how did he/her manage to go to 3 provinces in just a day?!

but anyway,I wrote about child smuggling in Yunnan,and passed:))
haha,guess my urge to include yunnan in anything and everything really helps!

2009-02-09T21:00:00.005+08:00

got tagged with this funny quiz by someone who ask me not to link him/her
shall do it because it take my mind off certain stuffs.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:Esther,tortoise,skinny piggy(which I am not?)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD:hmm,you mean on screen personall?

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
sing
cry
stare blankly at the computer screen

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
hmm,

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:that I am stupid.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE AFRAID OF:
-loving someone whom I am not supposed to
-maths
-battlefield of my mind

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
Green T-shirt, blue short, blue spec

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
my handphone,bible and my notebook

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
none at the moment

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
computer,computer and computer!
okay la,my iriver and books also.

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
fall in love?
excel in exam
GO TO YUNNAN!!=p

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
omg,err..明天的香格里拉,少年 and 想见你.

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
hmm.
that a good question!
I want to own a tortoise paradise!
err,try to persuade my dad to buy more phone!!
and go YUNNAN of course!

THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:omg,a lot..

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Love,trust and patience

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'RE GIVING TO THE WORLD:
nothing important..except for the fact that we're contributing to Global warming..

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
physical things?err..I don't look at that.
oh,but I won't mind if he can look like Mr edwin cho too!:)

THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
err..must be strong(mentally I mean),love God(is this counted?) and..can't think of any currently.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
MATHS,MATHS AND MATHS!!

THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
telok kurau primary school,yangke and guys from sichuan and of course,ahem:)

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
no why.it happened naturally.

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
singing,slacking,gaming..

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
GO YUNNAN!
Do SOCIAL STUDIES HW.
BURN MY MATH TXTBK,WORKSHEETS(opps!)

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:teacher,missionary and full-time volunteer,and oh ya!a neurologist.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
as stated above,YUNNAN!YUNNAN AND YUNNAN!
opps,3 different place?
err,New zealand and seoul then(:

THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
Shin chan,doraemon,spongebob squarepant

THREE BOY'S NAMES:
Russell
andrew
Wilson

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
sing hallelujah!!

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ (OR DIE PAINFULLY):
omg,err..Russell,Le tong and Jingxiong
sorry yeah?(:

2009-02-09T20:22:00.004+08:00

I cried myself to sleep ytd,woke up feeling lethargic and crushed.
choked on my breakfast
wrote my chinese compo w/o with a really foul mood,told my mum to try not to talk to me.
told her that I don't feel well and may scream at her unintentionally if she talk to me.

dragged my feet to school,still struggling with my tears.
did not want to talk to anyone at all,avoided them.
when ppl talked to me in class,I practice ignorance.

do some talking only in the school library,
when the sec 3 boy with the chubby face asked me to visit a website with interesting graphics.
I give him that face, =.=
and another when the boy with white spec suddenly appeared beside me,and talked to me.
ended both conversation hastily.

I skipped cca today too,after Gideon chat to me on msn about lijiang,it does make me feel slighter better(only slightly).He will be going there this june,to help out in an orphanage.I don't think I be able to make it,we sec 4 will still have extended lesson during the june hols.
And he may not make a trip to Kunming too,so it pointless.
Without Kunming,I rather not go.

blah,i miss you):
please do try to understand,why I like you.

2009-02-08T21:55:00.003+08:00

你的爱，如此温柔，超乎我心所求
这样大有能力的主，既捧我在手掌心上
你的爱，如此圣洁，使我无力报答
恩典高过我地生命，学习你谦卑的样式
背起我自己的十之架

2009-02-08T16:49:00.002+08:00

please understand,
I do this because i see a future,not an end.

2009-02-07T23:19:00.003+08:00

second post of the day is to answer what Junhao asked of me.

Firstly,do not think so highly of yourself,the boy I like is not you,and will never be you.

Secondly,stop asking me to sms you.I don't see a need to.And letting you know my new number will be a mistake.

Thirdly,the reason why i ceased msg-ing you is because you love to control me.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THAT YOU CAN CONTROL ME?
please,there a limit to my tolerance level,for someone like you who try to restrict me,and not let me talk to other guys other than you,I have only two sentence for you:
oh!you like me?too bad,I don't like you.
it would be greatly appreciated if you would get out of my life.

2009-02-07T22:33:00.010+08:00

WILSON,
I PROMISE YOU THAT FROM TODAY ONWARD,HONGWEI WILL BE JUST A FRIEND TO ME.
NOTHING MORE THAN THAT.

2009-02-06T22:04:00.007+08:00

Pe lesson is fun,we played a 2-2 monkey game in the hall.I advanced from a monkey to the thrower in less than a minute(:
This is because lisa decided to throw a high ball to sharirah,and I caught it instead.
lisa and shyeni became the monkeys.
I did'nt manage to catch the first ball sharirah threw, it "flew" away,and lisa and shye ni ran after it.Me,determined not to let them get the ball,speed toward them and make a grab for the ball.All three of us fall lightly,but I got the ball((:
and there another time when she threw the ball too low,and shye ni,being taller than me,hit the ball.It went in the other direction and we both ran toward it..
BUT..
Junyang-high-kicked it away.
the ball settled somewhere,and that person(whom i can't rmb) kicked it away too-.-
the ball roll to where weiliang is..
Weiliang-picked it up and threw it.
then i go "walao",he realised that the ball is our,apologised.
Mr edwin cho,seeing shye ni stuck with being the monkey for so long taught her the right way to defend.but i wiped her out instead(:

boy,I'm really sorry.
I should not have told you all this at this point of time when we are just vaguely farmilar with each other..

Although you are just an online friend,but never in my life had I find someone that I like so much(more than hongwei,suprisingly)

I do not know how to put it in words..
but I do know that..every memory i had of you, was liking you

will you forgive me?I promise to talk to you lesser in msn,and texted you less often k?
sorry.

2009-02-03T22:02:00.005+08:00

Directions:Mark the stupid things you've done, then add up the number of questions you marked. This test is out of 100 questions which means that the number you get as your score is your percentage.
1. [] Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 2. [] Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails 3. [] Broken a chair by leaning back in it 4. [] Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking 5. [x] Choked on your own spit while you were talking 6. [ ] Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not, or had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head 7. [] Been caught staring at your crush by your crush 8. [x] Have looked for something for at least 5 min then realized it was in your hand 9. [] Tried to push open a door that said pull 10.[] Tried to pull open a door that said push
Running total: 2

11. [ ] Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love-potion
12. [x] Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. [] Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs (how is this possible?!)
14. [ ] Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. [x] Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. [] Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. [] Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. [x] Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. [] Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. [] Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot

Running total:4

21. [] Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. [] Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. [] Have run into a closed door... where's 24? (lol. Hey, you aren't stupid!)
25. [x] Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. [x] It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. [] Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. [] Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. [x] Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. [] Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clockRunning total: 19
31. [x] After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. [x] Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. [x] Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. [] Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. [x] Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc when its on, even though you knew it was hot
36. [x] Taken off your clothes to change into something else then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. [x] Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. [x] Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. [x] Walked into a pole
40. [] Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident/stolen someones shoes by accident

Running total: 14

41. [] Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. [x] Tried to take a picture of someone's eye with the flash on [oops?]
43. [] Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. [] Walked out of the bathroom (stall) with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. [x] Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there, you forgot what it is was that you were going to do
46. [x] Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it !
47. [] Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. [] Have poked yourself in the eye
49. [] Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. [ ] Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

Running total: 17

51. [x] Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. [x] Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. [] Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. [x] Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was
55. [] Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. [] Looked into an overhead purposefully while it was on
57. [] Got up early and got ready for school/work, then realized that you didn't have school/work that day
58. [] Forgot your own phone number
59. [] Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. [x] Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny

Running total: 21

61. [] Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. [] Said funner then had someone make fun of you for it
63. [x] Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. [x] Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. [x] Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. [x] Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. [x] Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. [x] Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. [] Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
70. [] Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught

Running total: 27

71. [] When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. [] Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. [] Ran into a door jam
74. [] Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. [x] Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. [ ] Have purposely licked playground sand
77. [] Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. [x] Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. [x] Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. [] Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would hurt

Running total: 30

81. [] Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. [] Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. [] Sat and wondered why men's dress shirts have a loop on the back
84. [] Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. [] Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. [] Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. [] Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked funny
88. [] When at a restaurant, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. [] Have flung forks at people in a restaurant
90. [] Tripped and made the waiter drop the food.

Running total: 30

91. [x] As you are writing, you move your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. [] Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. [x] Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. [] Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. [] Have started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. [x] Read a whole book but during the whole book you weren’t even paying attention
97. [] You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. [] When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling
99. [] Have used your calculator as a form of communication in a class
100.[] Have popped a balloon in your mouth

Total: 33 gosh!, i'm that dumb?!
ps: for your info..
Q5:ahem!it just an accident..don laugh!
Q25:I thought I was talking on my house phone all along!>.<
Q26:okay,I admit I'm slow..I SAY STOP LAUGHING!):
Q35:eh?cereals are not supposed to be kept in fridge?
Q68:I have many special place..that why..
:D

2009-02-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

I brought rings..
for?

2009-02-01T16:03:00.020+08:00

Dear God,

I don't know how I should start this,but I am feeling kinda terrible right now.

I had prayed,in the wrong way a year ago.Instead of praying that you give me enough strength for me forget hongwei,I prayed that you let me met someone else who will make my heart skip a beat again.

well,I met that someone.

But the probability of him liking me,is zero.

At first,I thought that it just a passing infatuation.

At first,i thought i "like"him because he is from China..

At first,I thought that I still love hongwei because up till now,I'm still so gaga over Yunnan,especially Kunming.

Sometimes I wonder,is this a joke?HE IS A ONLINE FRIEND,I have not even met him before.But i don't know why his words and actions bothered me so much..

He and I are worlds apart,he is everything that I am not.

He is althetic,musically inclined,smart,healthly,sociable..

and I am sickly(doctor had cited my neuro condition as a gone case),stupid,and physically weak.

I don't know what will his reaction when he read this,maybe fall off the chair?

or he may ignore,or guard himself against me?

Lord,I prayed that you will guide me as to how should i continue from here..

In Jesus name,I prayed.

Amen.

2009-01-30T13:46:00.000+08:00

I AM ALIVE!!
I KISS THE SWEET GROUND:DD

2009-01-28T22:38:00.003+08:00

I talked to wilson wee today..
it like..FINALLY.
I has thought of deleting him off my msn list on several occasions,but I rmb how in the past he used to be my messenger..and I..can't bring myself to do it..

while other stampled on my relationship with H,he supports.
he was there..helping us silently and unconditionally.
At that time,it feel as if he was God's guardian angel for me.

But when my relationship does not work out,I started to avoid him..
I want to make a clean break with H,so it make perfect sense to delete wilson off my msn too.
But..I am glad I did not,everytime I clicked on his msn nick,something stop me.
And today,after talking to him,it brought me to the old days,where i confide in him on my relationship problems.
and today,just like the past, I burp out my secret again..

Knowing you is really a blessing from God.
wish me luck,I am going to plunge straight into it again,I don't know whether I will emerge victorious,but I will do whatever it take,and give in all my might.

:)

2009-01-27T23:01:00.003+08:00

went to jurong bird park today,
here are 3 pictures because there some problem with blogger.

bye.

2009-01-26T22:18:00.002+08:00

reunion dinner was on yesterday.
spend my %$#*@*( disclaimer:this is not a bad word,it just mean a long time) day beside the computer browsing through the stupid singtelshop.com..it is so lag you know?
check out the LG renior and HTC touch diamond,and they are both out of stock)):
settled for the viewty instead,asked my dad to picked the number he wanted,then realise that I choosen the pink viewty instead of black,deleted everything and click on the black icon again.

After it appeared,I scrolled down to the number that my dad had previously chosen,and..it's already taken.My dad was very angry and demand that we go down to the singtel hello! shop at tampines if I want the phone by today.I agreed and he drive me and my sister there. and know what?when we go there,the singtel ppl tell me that it out of stock.
got back and resort to going to the singtelshop.com again,choose a num for my dad personally,and rejoice when we finally check out the shopping cart..
BUT..
we realise that the payment method is by either mastercard or visa(we thought it cash-on-delivery)and we do not have any card with this two icon:X
so it like a waste,but luckily,it reunion dinner right?my uncle and his family soon came to my house,and he happened to have the mastercard..whew,what a relief:)
my new phone is slated to be delivered on 30th jan,2:30-5:30pm..WEE!!!:D

visited my grandma in amk today,and my dad want to bring us to jurong bird park,
kinda make a wrong turn in clementi,and poof,we are lost):
okay,he promised he will bring us there tomorrow,but I am not very enthuastic on going there.
If I go there,I will see penguins,and they will remind me of him again.
likewise,if my dad choose to go to the zoo,I will see pigs,and it will remind me of him too.
piggy is what i used to call him,and penguin is the nickname his friends gave him from the way he walked..

It took me great effort to get him out of my mind,I don't want him to invade my thoughts again..
seriously,wo bu yao!

2009-01-21T22:47:00.002+08:00

I FLUNKED MY SS.
AGAIN!!
I did not manage to finish my last sentence,which is the most impt..
without it,my essay is just trash,
totally trash.
):

2009-01-18T23:02:00.002+08:00

I feel really weird recently,have been deleting a lot of ppl off my msn list without any reason.
my Damai ex-senior,those friend from other sch and a whole lot more,
I don't know why,i just want to delete them..

I called a few days ago to terminate my phone line too,I don't know why too,since this few weeks will be the time that I need my phone most for my cca,sch projects,to call some of my friend when i cant find them in school etc..My phone is spoilt too,perfect timing,contacts all lost,dratz!

Days without a phone isn't that bad or boring,I used to depend heavily on the phone,but now i don't.But my dad is pressuring me to buy a new phone this week!!!
Me and Russell are planning to buy the same LG phone on the same day,but now the black 1 is currently out of stock!OMG):if they did'nt stocked up by this sat,I might be pressured to buy another phone design by my dad because he need the num desperately)):

oh ya!something worth mentioning too.
I donated some neopoints to the neopets wishing well,and I WON THE VIRTUAL ITEM THAT I WANTED!!
AND THE AMAZING THING IS,THERE ONLY 20 WINNERS PER DAY!!
i CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES WHEN MY NAME APPEARED ON THE WISHING WELL PAGE:)
haha,okay,ignore me.
i am crazy!~
:D

2009-01-15T22:42:00.003+08:00

my insitution was right afterall:))
now the thing is,how do i go about excuting it?

2009-01-14T23:09:00.004+08:00

I don't understand why.
You made me infatuated with you all over again.

2009-01-13T21:58:00.000+08:00

SEBASTIAN GOT 5 POINT FOR HIS O LEVEL!!!=O

2009-01-13T16:41:00.003+08:00

[ONE] Who was your last text from?Christopher

[TWO] Where was your default pic taken?Neopets.

[THREE]Your relationship status?- Single.

[FOUR] Have you ever lost a close friend? - Yup):

[FIVE] What is your current mood?- Moody

[SIX] What's your sister's name?- Grace:D

[SEVEN ] What's your favorite color(s)?- Green,blue,black,white

[EIGHT] With Who do you wish you were right now?- err..

[NINE] Have a crazy side?- I think so.

[TEN] Ever had a near death experience?- Yup!

[ELEVEN] Something you do a lot?- well,I breath,all the time.

[TWELVE] Angry at anyone?- YES!

[THIRTEEN] What's stopping you from going for the person you like?- I am not sure of who i like now.

[FOURTEEN] When was the last time you cried?- forget liao.

[FIFTEEN] Is there anyone you would do anything for?- Depend.

[SIXTEEN] Love your Boyfriend?- I don't have a boyfriend.

[SEVENTEEN] Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?- I forgotten.

[EIGHTEEN] What are your favorite songs?- it on the side of my blog.

.[NINETEEN] What are you doing right now?- answeing this survey la!

[TWENTY] Who do you trust right now?- Myself.

[TWENTY-ONE] Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?- from my closet.

TWENTY-TWO] Have you kissed someone in the past week?- Nope.

[TWENTY-THREE] What is your lucky number?- 3!

[TWENTY-FOUR] Who are your friends that are closest to you?- It used to be David,then no one.

[TWENTY- FIVE] Describe your life in one word?- Fluke

[TWENTY- SIX] Have you ever kissed in the rain?- Nope.

[TWENTY-SEVEN] Who are you thinking of right now?- No one.

[TWENTY- EIGHT] What should you be doing right now?- I am suppose to be doing my homework.

(TWENTY-NINE)If you could wish for something right now, what would it be?- I wish that I can get 8 point in my o level.

[THIRTY] What are you listening to?- nothing.

[THIRTY- ONE] Who was the last person who gave you a hug?- my mum

[THIRTY- TWO] Who was the last person who yelled at you?- My mum too!

[THIRTY- THREE] Do you act differently around the person you like?- Idk

[THIRTY- FOUR] What is your natural hair color?- Black.

[THIRTY-FIVE]Who was the last person to make you laugh?-Lisa

:)

2009-01-07T22:21:00.004+08:00

The person who tagged you is?Yuelin

Your relationship with him/her?a friend

Your 5 impressions of him/her?
1.)smart
2.)a bit bhb
3.)very culculative
4.)-
5.)-

The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?nothing?lol

The most memorable thing he/she has said to you?hmm,nothing memorable currently.

If he/she becomes your lover, you will?idk.

If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be?hmm,my lover should'nt be lazy,but i don't know whether he is or not:/

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?well,idk too.

9. If he/she dies, you will?pray that he have a wonderful time in heaven,and miss him maybe?

10. What is it you want to tell he/she?err,wish him a advanced new yr?

11. Your overall impression of he/she?
err..

12. How do you think people around you will feel?that I am hardworking and quiet?unless they are my close friends,they will know that I am neither of both:)

13. The characters you love of yourself are?Tenacity

14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are?trying to please everyone

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?someone who have strength in their character?oh ya,he must be a christian too!

16. For people who cares and likes you, say something to them.thank you!I like you too:D

17.Pass this quiz to 10 people:everyone who want to do this quiz!

NOTE:the rest of the quiz had been deleted because the owner of this blog is too lazy:D

2009-01-05T22:58:00.003+08:00

i had my first math lesson of the year today,and it was very..nerve wrecking):
i don't understand anything on the circle,which Mrs chen say is pri sch stuff,omg,it mean i have lot of catching up to do,should'nt have taken so many mc last yr):
I spent more than $500 last year seeing the doctor and taking mc..haiz):

oh ya,and i dislike the chinese teacher,she too fierce for me):
and we have to prepare a lot of things and a lot of homework like we are atttending a university exam-.-

MR EDWIN CHO IS OUR PE TEACHER!!
MR EDWIN CHO IS OUR PE TEACHER!!
MR EDWIN CHO IS OUR PE TEACHER!!
haha,lisa look at me and joked after knowing his our pe teacher,well,she know he my favourite teacher:)

went for the comp club and av meeting today,thought they just wanted to tell us that both the cca had merged,but it turn out that they want to break the ice by playing savenger and whacko,for the whacko,I am in charge of shouting out the name of other when my partner name is called.I keep on forgetting his name is nicholas instead of jonathan-.-

as for savenger,our grp won,grp 3 rockx!:)

that it,i am going to do my homework now-.-
bye!

2009-01-04T20:35:00.003+08:00

I want to make some ammendment to the previous post,it does'nt sound right at all.
I said that God directed me to someone else for me to love,but i just found out that this isn't the case.

True,because of that guy,I managed to forget hongwei(except for that 7%),but I did'nt get any real feeling for this guy.It like a reflex action,when you lose something important suddenly,you will immediately cling on to something else to replace the feeling of emptiness in you.This what happen between me and the guy.Andrew is right,when you stand up again,you will realise that it's not love,but dependance.

I am not ready to commit myself any relationship in the near future,I guess,I still need some time to be healed completely and start believing in relationship.

post dedicated to junhao

2008-12-30T22:21:00.004+08:00

I am not really in the mood to post now,but since I had promised Junhao,I will post.

you said that you wanted my answer,on who I like,why did'nt I return your love,why did I start dao-ing you after knowing of your religion etc.I will answer every of your doubt now.

you know hongwei right?
After my break with him,which i should'nt elaborate how in case there are some kpo ppl out there,I stop believing in relationship.For 1 whole yr,I live in agony,pain and regret.
I cried myself to sleep every single night,and it did'nt help to know that I am the one that destroyed our relationship.Not once,twice but thrice.(yes,we stead 3 times in total)It all came down to a single word:TRUST.If i trusted him enough,we would'nt be like this..

After hongwei,in order to forget my pain,I hook up with weijian,it does'nt prove to be a solution at all,i still think of hongwei even when I am out with that weijian.
It feel something like,I am forcing myself to love something i don't.In a way,I am degrading myself.

Of course,a relationship like this wont last,after we broke up.I took a break,exploring the possiblities on why does'nt it work out,why am I not able to love him etc.but NO GUILT,I must admit.

Around june this year,I got myself a new bf,Jincai,a boy from city harvest church.
That time,I am still riding on the possiblities that i will be able to forget hongwei because Jincai is such a great guy.But apparently,it fall through too.I start finding every single fault i can on him..I don't feel anything at all when i am with him.Also at that time,it happen that there someone else who like me as well..so..I broke off with Jincai for fear of hurting him further(fyi,I did'nt stead with the other guy too as i don't know him well at that time)But needless to say,the damage is already done,I heard that jincai nearly fall into depression..
well,at least,I feel truely remorseful this second time.

It was'nt until 3 month ago where the other guy that i mentioned in the above paragraph show me a picture of him with his friends.I look at one of his friend and it like something struck me"ESTHER,STOP LOOKING,XXXXXX IS THE GUY YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR"but,at that time I am still struggling,And there also this thought on whether i really like him for who he is or just simply because I find trace of hongwei in him.

I remember proudly telling Russell a few weeks ago that God have nothing asked me to forget anyone.haha,but a few days later after proclaiming,something miraclous happened.it simply mean 1 thing.I WILL BE ABLE TO AND MUST FORGET HONGWEI.
surprisingly,I am able to let go of him for the first time of my life..
and love that someone else that God asked me to:)

PRAISE GOD!
THANK YOU!!

and sorry junhao,i can't like you as my heart is already taken:(

2008-12-25T23:28:00.000+08:00

You Spread a Lot of Holiday Cheer

During the holidays, you represent the true spirit of Christmas.
You give freely, and you enjoy this special time of the year.

There's a good chance that you spread cheer every time of the year... not just during the holidays.
You're kind, upbeat, and generous. Anyone who crosses your path is lucky.

Do You Spread Holiday Cheer?

MERRY CHRISTMAS,EVERYONE!!(:

2008-12-25T23:11:00.002+08:00

我今天做出了一个痛苦的决定，决定和他断绝来往。

他曾经是我的全部，曾经是我的一片天，如我是在草地上嫩

2008-12-16T22:29:00.002+08:00

today wasn't productive at all.

went out with luke to buy my christmas card,I found the one that i wanted to find,but it look old and crumbled,not worth the money definately.If i buy it,that person will think I am using some old cards saved from last year christmas.

Check out every cd store and the Popular's cd rama,trying my best to find the album that i have been anticipating,did'nt manage to find it,guess they have'nt stock up on it):

also,comic connection don't sell paypal cards now):

haiz,but at least I did manage to buy 14 christmas card of another brand(:
great!:D

2008-12-14T23:39:00.004+08:00

My 47 Confessions
1. Who was the last person to call you honey?: junhao?
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?: LOL!of course,if not take them home meh?
3. Are You Single, or taken?: Single
4. Has someone ever sang a song to you?: Yup.
5. Do you play Sudoku?: nah,I hate math!
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?: depend on who there with me?=p
7. Who was the last person you shared a bed with?: my sister.
8. Who do you text the most?: err..for this few days it sld be andrew?
9. Who last said they loved you?: jun hao?and a irritating boy that I don't even know-.-
10. What color are your eyes?: black
11. Do you like your parents?: yup
12. Do you secretly like someone?: yup.
13. Why did your last relationship end?: because there a lack of trust,my fault):
14. Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone?: hongwei ba
15. Favorite ex?hongwei?
16. Where was the farthest place you traveled?: China
17. Do you like mustard?: haha,actually i not too sure what this is,haha,it's a big confession!(:
18. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?: eat?I don't really sleep.
19. Do you look like your mom or dad?: my dad.
20. Can you do splits?: No.
21. What movie do you want to see right now?: The day the earth stood still.
22. What did you do for New Year's Eve?: I will countdown!!
23. Where will you be celebrating your new year's day next year?: yup!
24. Was your mom a cheerleader?: no
25. What's the last letter of your middle name?: I
26. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?: around 4?
27. Do you like Care Bears?: No..haha.
28. What do you buy at the movies?: ticket?and maybe popcorn.
29. Do you know how to play poker?: No:x
30. Do you wear your seat belt?: NO!!LOL!it so uncomfortable!
31. What do you wear to sleep?: shirt and shorts.53. Anything big ever happen in your town?: haha,not really.
32. Is your hair good?: No.
33. Is your tongue pierced?: No .
34. Do you like Liver and Onions?: No.
35. Do you like funny or serious people better?: depend.
36. Ever been to L.A.?: No.
37. Who is on your mind right now?: haha..err..him?
38. Any plans for tonight?: Yup.
39. What's your favorite song at the moment?: 有人关心你
40. Do you hate chocolate?: No.
41. What do you and your parents fight about the most?: wasting money.
42. Are you a gullible person?: Yup:(
43. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?: think so?
44. If you could have any job what would it be?: dunno?.
45. Are you easy to get along with?: hmm..ya.
46. What is your favorite time of day?: the morning!.
47. Are you a generally happy person?: No.

2008-12-13T22:13:00.002+08:00

If i know I be so worried,i would'nt have talk to Ace at all..
I did'nt know it will be so spot-on,considering how big that place is..
I hope you are ok,remember to wear more clothes kay?
do not catch a cold k?I love you.

on a lighter note,luke the christmas turkey(opps! i certainly hope he does'nt see this) is now teaching me how to give someone a unexpected surprise..haha,I might consider trying it,if i don't get cold and jelly feet on that day.haha=)

will be going out to buy christmas card on tuesday,oh my gosh,i hope it isn't sold out yet.cause i really like the design,and i am getting it for someone special.This thursday when i went there,there only 2 card left..please not let the card be sold pls,if not i will make a wasted trip to angmokio just to buy that card..

2008-12-12T22:09:00.002+08:00

RULE #1 - People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 - Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continuing this game by sending it to other people.

1. Do you have secrets?just one.haha

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl younger than you?don't think so.

3. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love?it really depends..

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?go travelling.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?No,too close to love

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?being loved.

7. How do you define love?Love is unconditional and is about giving,not taking.haha,i can go on for a page long about this,but i think i stop here:X

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?wait for him?

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?YES!

10. What makes you sad?math homeworks and a lot of other stuff..

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?as a teacher?

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?my family and ahem.

13. What is being regarded as the most important thing in your life?my diary,terrapins,hp,wallet.LOL

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?married but poor.

15. What is your favourite colour?blue

16. Do you fall in love easily?Used to.

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?Yes.

18. What do you want to tell the someone you like?I just hope to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him.

19. If there is a choice between lover and friends,which will you choose?lover

20. Do you believe that there's "True Love"?yup,definately

5 ppl who's going to do this survey.Anyone!

my friendster

2008-11-26T22:19:00.003+08:00

right now,I am looking through all my friendster msg,one by one,word by word.From the time I created my account in sec one till now,I have met new friends,found those friends that I lost contact with,and met the guy i love too..

I remember the time when I cheer chonghwee up on his N-level,and we are both so surprised when he score 2 distinction that we cry tears of joy.I remember the time when my friends bombarded me with friendster msgses,testimonial(as it is once called) and comments to wish me a happy birthday.,I remember the time when I introduce my profile song to my buddy in china,and she love it to pieces.I remember getting in trouble with those ppl from 3a1 and 2 last yr,and there someone who support me silently and giving me strength to move on.I remember falling in love with him..I remember the time when i would woke up everyday feeling excited just to receive a msg from my once-friend(he migrated and we soon lost contact)when he tried so hard to access the net at myanmar..

but sadly,i have to say goodbye to all this.
hopefully my friends will still remember my birthday without the friendster reminder.
bye my countless msgses,
my 3494 comments,
my 685 friends,
and lastly my friendster acc.

2008-11-23T22:47:00.004+08:00

changed blogskin again..
there a lot of problem with my pluggo!Arrgh!
will tackle this and all other problem when I am more free tomorrow.

Recently,a lot of ppl have been pestering me to tell them who I REALLY like,as in who I look up to as a boyfriend or whether I have a boyfriend and that why,I removed the cbox as you all can see(:

SO,KINDLY QUIT ASKING.If i want to tell you,I will.You don't have to run around like a chicken that just lost it head just to know my answer.I don't think it worth it because you will get absolutely nothing out of me.Since weeks ago,I have already master the art of keeping my personal secret.

Now,remember what i say during that short english presentation in school on "my thoughts on the qualities of my future spouse"?

"Firstly,he must be a christian(at least in the future) so that there will not be any heated arguement pertaining to religious issue.On the other hand,he must also be motivated,have TENACITY and friendly so it will be easier for us to communiciate."

okay,i know it not complete but at least it serve as a rough guide?throw in more qualities like :hardworking,understanding and you get the picture.
happy guessing!-.-

PS:I'll do all the linking tomorrow.

2008-11-21T22:29:00.001+08:00

LORD,give me the strength to carry on if I were to experience it again,that torturous ordeal that took away my laughter,my confidence,my hope,my motivation,my feelings and so on....

I had thought about this for the past few days,avoiding can't be a long-term solution,I have to brace myself to face it,not matter how hard it take..
how long it take and how tedious it take.

2008-11-11T22:44:00.001+08:00

You Are an Okay Student

You know how to get by school, but your heart isn't always in it.
Motivation is a problem for you. Maybe you need to study something more exciting!

Are'>http://www.blogthings.com/areyouagoodstudentquiz/">Are You a Good Student?

buckets of thanks

2008-11-09T21:27:00.003+08:00

my new blog is up!
firstly,have to thank Arron for answering my numerous question on how to do this,how to do that and provide me with a step by step guide on how to change blogskin and all that.sorry if I seem irritating,cause I am really a bit slow when it come to blogspot.
okay,I must thank letong too,although she only teach me to try-and-error as to where to put the tagboard..LOL!
谢谢你们！=)

today is a terrible day,I cried the entire time I was in church,the prayer by pastor li-shien does'nt seem to help at all,I am too hurt to even look at her straight in the eye.the pain and anguish that i am going through right now,but at least i am better now.I don't think anyone will be able to understand.okay,but it not about bgr issue,so don't ask me anything related to this.
=)
that all!